Friendships

"A true friend is one that you can always count on to support you as you obey God. There are friends who will back you up when you try to do what is right. Thanks for being a true gift from God, a friend who helps me and others when we try to do what honors God."

I received this in a text last week, and to be honest, I didn't know how to respond. This was from someone who I dearly love, but I had not felt that I had been this kind of friend over the last couple months. I found myself pulling back, not giving of myself for awhile, and then this comes out of nowhere!

I got this early in the morning and I thought about it all day. I didn't respond until late that afternoon. Honestly, I didn't know how to respond. Why would she feel that way when I didn't feel that I was being that kind of a friend? So, I responded with "Wow! That's a lot to take in!" She tells me that I'm a smart woman and I can take it, so of course then the process of searching within begins...

This is the person I want to be. It is someone I am when I am willing to be open and honest and vulnerable. We need to be this kind of friend, and we need to have these kinds of friends! Having a friend that you know without a doubt that you can call on at any given moment is a treasure. She is this and I definitely don't want to lose her friendship. We may go through valleys in our friendship, but those valleys lead to a deeper more intimate relationship.

I am learning to let go of my insecurities and fears and being willing to let God do what only God can do! He has blessed me with some open and honest friendships and I need to embrace all of it. The laughter, the accountability, the tears and most importantly, the love.

So my prayer is this: Lord, help me to be a true friend. Someone that can always be counted on to support frieds who obey God. Let me be a friend who will back others up when they try to do what is right. Thanks for giving me a true gift from God, a friend who helps me and others when we try to do what honors God. Amen.

"A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17

God Walking

A few weeks ago, I took my 1 year old Lab Lily on a walk. It had been a while since we had walked and it started out challenging. She wanted to go full speed at first, from the beginning, I had to hold her leash at a close distance and keep it taut. She was jumping around, not paying attention, losing focus and I had to keep calling her name, tugging on her collar and even give her a kick on her butt at one point.

As we continued to walk around the neighborhood, she gradually got back into our routine. It's not like she doesn't know how it is supposed to be done, she just had to test the waters and see how far she could go without being brought back in line. She wanted to do it her way, but I wanted it my way, because I knew the dangers of letting her just do it on her own. I was there to guide her and show her how it is done. Little by little, she submitted, and then we were walking side by side, enjoying our surroundings and being comforted that we can do this together as long as we work together.

Which, makes me think of our walk with God. There are so many times that we let our schedules and busyness keep us from walking with Him. We let the pressures of life, our tiredness and quite honestly pure laziness from spending time in the arms of our Savior. We think we can do it our way and on our own. We know what we're doing, but do we? When we finally realize we can't do it all on our own, we know we need God, and then we have an akward time of getting back in the routine.

So, we decide to make a decision, today, I am going to spend more time with him. I am not going to go at this alone anymore, but when we sit down to do it, our minds are jumping all over, we can't settle our bodies down to focus, we want to hear God calling our name, but we just won't sit long enough to really listen. Sometimes it takes a swift kick in the butt to get back on track!

And that is exactly what God does. He will continue to gently call our names and urge us to come back to Him. We just have to be willing to let Him in. When we finally submit to His calling, what a difference it makes! We can enjoy our surroundings, the situations we are in, the circumstances we face, because we know that we have the comfort and security of the One who knows us and loves us no matter what and will guide us every step of the way. Walking right next to our side, and guiding us all the way home! He will meet us right where we are at any given moment, He just wants us to seek Him. May today be the day you submit to His voice and let Him guide you.

Blessings,
Terri

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Stand Up

"Then the king deply regretted what he had said; but because of the vows he had made in front of his guests, he couldn't refuse her." Mark 6:26

This week as I was read'ing Mark Chapter 6, this verse really made me mad. I read it and thought to myself, Herod is is an idiot, why couldn't he stand up against something that he knew was completely wrong?" I continued to be bothered by this and just pondered it for a few days.

Well, during our bible study session, Sherry Mortenson speaks on Herod a little. Here is a man, who was married, divorced his wife to marry his brother's wife (Herodia) and then is turned on by his step-daughter while watching her dance! John the Baptist comes in and confronts Herod about his lifestyle and his wife Herodia, is angry, she wants John killed! In the end, Herodia's daughter is offered anything she wants and her mother, Herodia tells her to ask for the head of John the Baptist, and she gets it! Interesting, huh? So why does this affect me?

Well, when put into layman's terms, here is a dysfunctional family, Herod is a man who took what he wanted, when he wanted, reacts to his desires with no concern for how others are to be affected, and completely impulsive! This is what I relate to. I come from a background of Herod's!

I grew up without my Dad from the ages of 2-16. He was an acoholic and after my mom left him, he went on to two other women and had more kids with them, not counting the one woman and child before me and my sister. My mom remarried and had another child with him and that ended in divorce, because of impulsive choices on his part. Which then enters my dad again, and my parents remarry, and in the end, is not a good thing because of impulsive choices on my mom's part. All three of my parents, only thought of themselves and what they wanted with no consideration of how the rest of us would be affected.

With a total of 7 of us kids, we all have our own histories. I can only speak on my behalf, but I grew up with no one protecting me, and no one being willing to stand up for me when I was being wronged when they were fully aware of what was happening. I have always felt that I have to protect myself and trust no one, because if I trust, they will let me down! So why trust? I'm gonna lose either way, right?

Wrong! As with the disciples, we all have our moments of unbelief, but, our unbelief amazes Jesus! I didn't realize that my having to be in control of all things at all times is a lack of trust, and therefore is unbelief! Oh, I say I believe in Jesus, but if I stay in fear of losing (or loving completely)those close to me, I am living in unbelief! I don't believe that Jesus can and will stick up for me when I am wronged, I have that underlying feeling that I have to always be in protect mode and only trust myself, but am I really capable of trusting myself, no, because I am not God! Nor do I want to be...I want to believe that He is God and He is in control and He loves and protects me and that is enough.

So, what's the next step, I surrender my will, and let His will reign, from this day forward!

Blessings,
Terri